# GRHASTHA ASRAMA ## Preparing for Marriage ![[letters/1967/671026_jadurani|In spiritual life there is no allowance of association of man and woman without being married.]] —Jadurani, 26 October, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/671113_gargamuni|Married life is a sort of license to the incapable man who cannot avoid sex life. On this statement you can understand your real position.]] —Gargamuni, 13 November, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/671221_rayarama|I'm anxious to know about Damodara, what happens to him. If he is in need of sex, who forbids him? A man in sex life is not neglected by us. The only thing we want is that sex life can be allowed only in married couples. So get him convinced about...]] —Rayarama, 21 December, 1967 --- ![[letters/1968/680121_brahmananda|Jagatananda must subdue his sex desire by constant chanting of Hare Krsna and praying to Krsna to help him. If not he must be prepared to marry and take the responsibility fully.]] —Brahmananda, 21 January, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681006_brahmananda|unless our brahmacaris are very adamant remaining as brahmacari, I shall recommend everyone to marry. Because these girls generally come to our Society to find a suitable husband, so there is no harm to live as husband and wife,]] —Brahmananda, 6 October, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681007_hayagriva|I am sure this process, helped by your regular chanting, will kill Mr. Lust, rest assured.]] —Hayagriva, 7 October, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681106_uddhava|I am in due receipt of your letter. I think you should consult your Godbrothers in this connection. So I have no objection if you decide to marry as a matter of necessity. Hope you are all well. Please convey my blessings to all boys and girls.]] —Uddhava, 6 November, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681108_hayagriva|If you decide to marry, there are many devotee girls, and one of them may be a very nice companion for your devotional life. You prefer to be free but a devotee wife is as good as freedom.]] —Hayagriva, 8 November, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681202_upendra|I have also noted that you write to say that you are having trouble with sex agitation. Why you do not marry then? Either you become grhastha or what other choice is there? Either you train yourself and pray to Krsna, begging that you may remain b...]] —Upendra, 2 December, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681209_upendra|It is my open advice for everyone who is disturbed by sex, they must take the responsibility of married life.]] —Upendra, 9 December, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681211_krsna_dasa]] —Kṛṣṇa dasa, 11 December, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681211_nandakisora|From your letter I can understand that you are anxious to become householder and this is very good. We require so many householders to set example to others how in Krsna consciousness we can live peacefully and sanely, even in married life. Also, ...]] —Nandakisora, 11 December, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681229_nandakisora]] —Nanda Kisora, 29 December, 1968 --- ![[letters/1969/690112_kirtanananda|A brahmacari is good for living a life of celibacy, but a person who can live a life of celibacy in the presence of a beautiful and obliging wife is more than a brahmacari.]] —Hamsaduta, 12 January, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690208_hrsikesa|If one is strong enough in Krsna consciousness, then there is no reason to become grhastha, but if one is still disturbed by sex desire, then marriage is the only other possibility.]] —Hrsikesa, 8 February, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690430_isanadas]] —Gopala Kṛṣṇa, 30 April, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690508_sivananda|You have mentioned that you may be interested in marriage, and if you think that you should marry, there is no question of living as an artificial brahmacari.]] —Sivananda, 8 May, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690603_madhudvisa|I can understand the disturbance of your mind, but why keep yourself in such artificial disturbance? You can become a householder. That is not prohibited.]] —Madhudvisa, 3 June, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690616_rupanuga|I think if there is any suitable girl, you can negotiate for his marriage, and then he will be fixed-up. He has got various capacities, and he can help our movement very much,]] —Rupanuga, 16 June, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690629_rayarama]] —Rayarama, 29 June, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690705_sacisuta|So we have no objection for allowing you to get married, but it is up to you to consider if you will work hard and earn money both for Krsna and for your family. You cannot get married and at the same time do not earn money. Of course, by preachin...]] —Sacisuta, 5 July, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690710_giriraja|So to marry and to become an exemplary householder is the ideal life of Krsna consciousness.]] —James Doody, 10 July, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690922_sethji|Perhaps Krsna wishes you to remain brahmacari.]] —Sridhama, 22 September, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/691102_hayagriva_vamanadeva_pradyumna|But in this Age of Kali, Bhaktivinoda Thakura recommends that it is better to cultivate Krsna consciousness as a householder.]] —Mandali Bhadra, 2 November, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/691126_aniruddha]] —Gopala Kṛṣṇa, 26 November, 1969 --- ![[letters/1970/700109_raktaka|Regarding your marriage, I have all sanction for it, but I do not know what is the legal implication. Besides that, the girl is not initiated. But if she is working very obediently in the temple, there is no impediment in your being married with h...]] —Raktak, 9 January, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700202_sumati_morarjee|My open advice is that if anyone can remain a brahmacari that is very nice, but there is no need of artificial brahmacaris.]] —Lalita Kumara, 2 February, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700304_hanuman_prasad_poddar|If we find it suitable that by marrying one will be able to serve better than by not marrying, then one must marry—that is our principle.]] —Tamala Kṛṣṇa, 4 March, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700307_trivikrama|Marriage is a concession for a person who cannot control his sex desires. Of course it is a difficult job for the boys in this country because they have free access to intermingling with the girls.]] —Trivikrama, 7 March, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700417_jayapataka]] —Jayapataka, 17 April, 1970 --- ![[letters/1971/710224_gargamuni|You write to say that you are too much absorbed in temporal thoughts of sex life. If that is the case, then perhaps you should get yourself married.]] —Minaketana, 24 February, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710325_sukadeva|Yes, if Karandhara has recommended it, both you and Narada Muni dasa may get yourselves married. I have no objection. But you must be sure that you can meet all the responsibilities of household life; then it is all right.]] —Sukadeva, 25 March, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710705_hrdayananda|So far as Radhaballabha getting himself married, you must first discuss with him that this marriage business is not a farce, but it must be taken very seriously. There is no question of divorce, and if he will promise not to separate from his wife...]] —Hrdayananda, 5 July, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710707_bhagavan|if they are promising not to separate under any circumstances, but to work cooperatively in the service if the Lord, then my sanction is there for their marriage, and my blessings as well. Otherwise not.]] —Bhagavan dasa, 7 July, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710708_gopala_krsna|you must agree that you will never separate but work cooperatively throughout your lives in Krsna consciousness. This marriage ceremony is serious business and not to be taken lightly.]] —Batu Gopata, 8 July, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710808_madhukantha|you must promise that you will not separate under any circumstances. This marriage is serious business and not to be taken lightly.]] —Madhukantha, 8 August, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710925_madhucara|Separation is absolutely forbidden at any time. Always think of Krsna and be happy.]] —Madhucara, 25 September, 1971 --- ![[letters/1972/720120_sri_govinda|I have allowed my disciples to marry as a concession for having household life, because you American boys and girls are accustomed to mix freely with one another, so what can I do?]] —Sri Govinda dasa, 20 January, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/720215_amogha|But one thing is that you shall have to be from now on fully responsible for protecting her and giving her Krsna consciousness, and there shall never be any separation, that is our condition. So if you are willing to follow this condition, I have ...]] —Amogha, 15 February, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/720228_harsarani|anyone proposing to marry must produce some outside income and live outside the temple, they must know this in advance and be prepared to carry such burden. Let them be married, but at their own risk.]] —Harsarani, 28 February, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/720228_kirtiraja|those who want to marry must know in advance and be prepared to make outside income to support wife and home separately from the temple.]] —Kirtiraja, 28 February, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/720708_nandarani|We have never discouraged family life, so both of you are intelligent and can make your plan. Keep your situation fit for rendering service to the Lord more enthusiastically. That is my desire.]] —Nandarani, 8 July, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/721107_tamala_krsna_giriraja_manusvi|Myself, I was very young when I got married, and my wife was 11 years only.]] —Mr. Loy, 7 November, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/721217_danavir]] —Danavir, 17 December, 1972 --- ![[letters/1973/730219_kirtika|Your question in regard to marriage, we must impress upon the parties involved that Krsna conscious marriage is not some cheap thing that may be embraced whimsically and at any time thrown off. The boy and girl must be willing to accept each other...]] —Satsvarupa, 19 February, 1973 --- ![[letters/1975/750104_nrsimha_dasa]] —Madhukara, 4 January, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/751206_jay_krishna_thakura|you prepared to get a job, live outside the temple in an apartment, provide the wife with bangles, saris and sex?]] —Saksi Gopala dasa, 6 December, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/751222_hrdayananda|I always say, man is good, and woman is also good, but when they combine, then they become bad. Before there was so much difficulty, but now you are doing well and Yamuna dasi is also doing well, and I am very pleased with your work. Please contin...]] —Guru dasa Maharaja, 22 December, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/751231_madhudvisa|Regarding your getting married, I have no objection. However as a brahmacari you are not obligated to marry, what is the advantage to your getting married? That should be considered. If one can remain brahmacari that is best. Finish this life and ...]] —Mahavisnu dasa, 31 December, 1975 --- ![[letters/1976/760122_jagadisa|Before having a child the parents should see whether they shall be able to pay for their child's education. The GBC should make an injunction that if they beget children, then whatever the expenses are for supporting gurukula they must pay for it.]] —Jagadisa, 22 January, 1976 --- ![[letters/1976/760831_navayogendra|There is no impediment for grhasthas to become fully Krsna conscious. All of Caitanya Mahaprabhu's associates were grhasthas and all of them helped Caitanya Mahdprabhu in His missionary activities.]] —Karandhara dasa, 31 August, 1976 --- ![[letters/1976/761029_ramesvara|If you feel maya attracting, then live an honest life as a householder and contribute to our movement.]] —Pusta Kṛṣṇa dasa, 29 October, 1976 --- ## Arrangement of Marriages ![[letters/1968/681120_brahmananda|Regarding Uddhava, I am glad that he is going to marry Lilasukha. She is a very nice girl, I approve. They can wait and finish school as her mother desires. But they can become betrothed, engaged, now.]] —Brahmananda, 20 November, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681221_jadurani|Regarding Rukmini, I think that if she is desiring to marry Upendra that idea is nice and approved by me. If she will rather wait for a while that is all right but in either case Upendra should be informed of her plans. It is a very good sign that...]] —Jadurani, 21 December, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681219_rukmini|In India the marriage between a boy and girl is arranged by the parents but in this country such arrangement is not possible, so we never request our students to marry if they are not desiring to do this.]] —Rukmini, 19 December, 1968 --- ![[letters/1969/690616_rupanuga|I think if there is any suitable girl, you can negotiate for his marriage, and then he will be fixed-up. He has got various capacities, and he can help our movement very much,]] —Rupanuga, 16 June, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/691126_aniruddha|The parents arrange for marriage and whatever boy or girl they select for their son or daughter that is accepted.]] —Aniruddha, 26 November, 1969 --- ![[letters/1970/700418_hansadutta|From hygienic point of view, the boy should be at least five years older than the girl. If the boy is weaker then the progeny will be weaker sex or females and the man will get still weaker.]] —Hamsaduta, 18 April, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700516_gurudasa|The only selection is that both the boy and the girl should be Krsna conscious, and the boy may be older than the girl by at least two to five years.]] —Gurudasa, 16 May, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700820_bhagavan|As far as the marriages are concerned, I have got all blessings, but the girls must be younger than the boys.]] —Bhagavan, 20 August, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700825_jaya_gopala|Regarding your marriage, I have no objection, but if you accept a girl for marriage she should be younger than you. At least she should not exceed your age.]] —Jaya Gopala, 25 August, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700909_bhavananda|Regarding the proposed wife for Jitendriya, if she is living in the temple and if she is younger than the boy and if you think that the marriage will be very nice, the girl may be married with Jitendriya. She may follow the footsteps of her husban...]] —Bhavananda, 9 September, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/701104_rupanuga|Regarding marriage, generally the man should be older than the woman. We have not had good experiences with marriages when the woman is older. But everything must be done with reference to time, place, and circumstance and in your country such a m...]] —Rupanuga, 4 November, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/701120_gaura_hari|Such contract is made on the basis of compatible service to the Lord, because such mutual cooperation in serving the advancement of Krsna consciousness minimizes the illusion of material compatibility and incompatibility.]] —Gaura Hari, 20 November, 1970 --- ![[letters/1971/711009_karandhara|So far marriages are concerned, just use your discretion but be sure that marriage does not become a farce. It must be serious. So far age is considered, generally the girl should not be older than the boy but in special case you can use your disc...]] —Karandhara, 9 October, 1971 --- ![[letters/1972/721026_cyavana|So you must judge whether the match will be favorable on the point that it must not cause any disturbance either in the girl's family or in the local community.]] —Cyavana, 26 October, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/721107_tamala_krsna_giriraja_manusvi|Myself I was very young when I got married, and my wife was 11 years only.]] —Mr. Loy, 7 November, 1972 --- ![[letters/1973/730728_naiskarmi|Formerly the girl would be married to a suitable boy at a very early age, say six years old. But although a girl was married early she did not stay with her husband immediately,]] —Naiskarmi devi dasi, 28 July, 1973 --- ![[letters/1975/750902_omkara|if they can remain together for one year, then there can be fire sacrifice.]] —Omkara dasi, 2 September, 1975 --- ## Marriage Ceremony ![[letters/1967/670804_brahmananda|In the temple the ceremony should be observed by chanting Hare Krsna before the fire,]] —Brahmananda, 4 August, 1967 --- ![[letters/1968/681219_brahmananda|So far as you performing the marriage ceremony in exchange for a nice rug, the idea is all right and if you request I will send you instructions.]] —Brahmananda, 19 December, 1968 --- ![[letters/1970/700111_kulasekhara|Uninitiated couples cannot be married by us. We shall not take the responsibility of an ordinary marriage maker. Our practice is to help devotees for advancing in Krsna consciousness. In such activities, when there is necessity, we get them marrie...]] —Jaya Gopala, 11 January, 1970 --- ![[letters/1971/710825_satsvarupa|In the Vedic ceremony the paraphernalia required for the sacrificial ceremony includes]] —Satsvarupa, 25 August, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710804_satsvarupaa|So far the marriage of Sakuntala and Ajamita is concerned, I have no objection but you must brief them thoroughly on married life in Krsna consciousness, how serious business it is, and that separation is not allowed under any circumstances. At on...]] —Satsvarupa, August, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/711117_brhaspati|there should be a formal contract signed by both parties at each marriage, voting that there will be no separation and that man and wife will work cooperatively in Krsna consciousness.]] —Sridhama dasa, 17 November, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/711122_hiranyagarbha|As far as marriage, I have no objection if you marry in a civil wedding, but so far a Krsna consciousness wedding, there is no question until the girl has been initiated.]] —Hiranyagarbha, 22 November, 1971 --- ![[letters/1973/730315_jayatirtha|Yes, you may perform the marriages in the temple room, but after the legal marriage has lasted at least six months to a year. Then we can know they are faithful and serious.]] —Jayatirtha, 15 March, 1973 --- ![[letters/1974/741219_bahudak|Concerning your marriage ceremony, that is to be sanctioned by the temple president or GBC.]] —Vipini dasa, 19 December, 1974 --- ![[letters/1975/750902_omkara|to bless it by fire sacrifice, that I am thinking that if they don't stay together, then it is not good. But if they can remain together for one year, then there can be fire sacrifice.]] —Omkara dasi, 2 September, 1975 --- ![[letters/1976/761025_whom_it_may_concern|Let this couple first of all legally marry. After that we bless them by observing a fire ceremony. It is not necessary to burden me with these matters. Please consult with the local GBC.]] —Hari Vilasa dasa, 25 October, 1976 --- ## Duties of the Husband ![[letters/1966/661210_janis|As she has become your life's companion, it is your duty to induce her, peacefully, in the matter of spiritual advancement of life.]] —Janis Dambergs, 10 December, 1966 --- ![[letters/1967/670829_satsvarupa_hansadutta|But family life requires a certain amount of privacy and convenience, which may not always be available.]] —Hamsaduta, August, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/670804_brahmananda|bodily relations between the husband and wife is secondary; primary factor is that both should help one another in the matter of advancement of Krsna consciousness.]] —Brahmananda, 4 August, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/671008_subalaa|In my opinion, your wife and yourself are nicely executing my mission and please try to follow my instructions and you shall never be unhappy.]] —Subala, 8 October, 1967 --- ![[letters/1968/681119_rayarama|I understand that Dinesh's present job is very tedious and hampering but because you are now a family man you must have some steady income.]] —Dinesh and Kṛṣṇa devi, 19 November, 1968 --- ![[letters/1969/690124_himavati|Regarding your question about the husband becoming the spiritual master of the wife, anyone who can give instruction in spiritual life is treated as spiritual master. There are two kinds of spiritual master, initiator and instructor. So the husban...]] —Himavati, 24 January, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690501_dayananda|keep yourself always in Krsna consciousness with your family members, raise your children to that standard, and employ your energy for serving Krsna.]] —Dayananda, 1 May, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/691021_bharadraja|You have got good ideas, you are intelligent and have got qualifications, but you must learn to be more responsible. I was not very happy when I saw your wife last. You are married; you must be responsible for the maintenance of your wife. As you ...]] —Baradraja, 21 October, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/691123_madhusudana|I am very glad that Kancanbali is performing the regulative principles and worshiping and helping you to become an ideal Vaisnava householder. Regarding sannyasa, yes, according to Vedic principles, as a married man, you must give your wife a boy ...]] —Madhusudana, 23 November, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/691205_hit_sharanji|I am very glad to learn that Visakha is fully engaged in taking care of the Deities. Please offer my blessings to her and try to behave with her as a very kind husband. She will be a very nice girl, helping you both materially and spiritually. She...]] —Kulasekhara, 5 December, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/691215_gargamuni|Because he is a family man, he should have some special consideration. A brahmacari can tolerate any inconvenience, but women and children cannot. They will have difficulty.]] —Gargamuni, 15 December, 1969 --- ![[letters/1971/710805_karandhara|So now you should take care of your wife. The woman should be cared for, especially during pregnancy. At the time of the marriage ceremony there is a promise that the husband will care for the wife throughout her life and the woman will serve the ...]] —Karandhara, 5 August, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710919_sucandra|Your duty is to take charge of your wife. So you can stick to your job and maintain your wife and family and give as far as possible to the Hamburg temple. You cannot be irresponsible to your wife and child. That is not allowed. If you can go with...]] —Sucandra, 19 September, 1971 --- ![[letters/1972/720227_mohanananda|you have married her, and there is no question of separation. You may live from time to time separately, but at least you must try very hard to help her perfect her spiritual life.]] —Mohanananda, 27 February, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/720415_citsukhananda|So far your wife is concerned, you have given her one son, so that is sufficient. Now she will always have some engagement to raise the child and train him in Krsna consciousness, so you can be free to devote yourself more fully in spreading this ...]] —Citsukhananda, 15 April, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/720716_mahatma|If you have taken a wife for grhastha life, why are you neglecting? That is not Vaisnava. Vaisnava means he is very much responsible, and if he is householder, then he must be responsible. I cannot give sannyasa to any devotee who has not proven h...]] —Mahatma, 16 July, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/720719_navina|the husband must take full responsibility for living outside the temple and earning money for supporting wife and children.]] —Novina, 19 July, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/720915_gurudasa|the husband must forever be responsible for the wife's well-being and protection in all cases.]] —Sudevi dasi, 15 September, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/721217_name_withheld]] —name withheld, 17 December, 1972 --- ## Duties of the Wife ![[letters/1967/670804_brahmananda]] —Brahmananda, 4 August, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/671008_nandarani|The Vedic system advises women to become very chaste and accept the husband as master. Your husband is especially good because he is progressing in Krsna consciousness.]] —Nandarani, 8 October, 1967 --- ![[letters/1968/681101_satsvarupa_jadurani]] —Jadurani, 1 November, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681224_malati|I am very pleased that you are serving your husband nicely and helping him so that he may advance his Krsna consciousness. When the husband advances, automatically the wife shares in his success so there is all around benefit.]] —Malati, December, 1968 --- ![[letters/1969/690119_anuradha]] —Anuradha, 19 January, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690513_tamala_krsna]] —Gopala Kṛṣṇa, 13 May, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690614_silavati|the husband is spiritual master to his wife, but if the wife can bring her husband into practicing this process then it is all right that the husband accepts wife as spiritual master.]] —Silavati, 14 June, 1969 --- ![[letters/1970/700203_mandali_bhadra|Yes. I sometimes think of your mother. She is a nice lady and has good potency for improving in Krsna consciousness. From the child's mentality the mother's mentality is judged and vice-versa.]] —Mandali Bhadra, 3 February, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700306_malati]] —Malati, 6 March, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700418_hansadutta]] —Hamsaduta, 18 April, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700426_himavati|Better to accept Krsna as your child, and He will never leave you like a material child.]] —Himavati, 26 April, 1970 --- ![[letters/1971/710219_rupanuga|The wife is maya but at the same time a great friend. Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu remarked that the wife is the goddess of fortune somewhere and somewhere she is a witch.]] —Rupanuga, 19 February, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710401_rameswar_dayalaji_birla]] —Kanya Kumari (Carol Bouchier), 1 April, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710501_laksmimoni]] —Laksmimoni, 1 May, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710501_laksmimoni]] —Laksmimoni, 1 May, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710705_tilaka_devi_dasi|You are your husband's better half and as such it is your duty to assist him in every way possible so that he can nicely execute Krsna consciousness.]] —Tilaka devi dasi, 5 July, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710705_anangamanjari_devi_dasi]] —Ananga-manjari devi dasi, 5 July, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710827_himavati]] —Himavati, 27 August, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/711014_vasudeva|I heard from Sivananda that you had left him without his knowledge. That is not very good.]] —Vrnda devi, 14 October, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/711118_srutasrava]] —Srutasrava, 18 November, 1971 --- ![[letters/1972/720216_caya_dasi|A woman's real business is to look after household affairs, keep everything neat and clean ,]] —Caya dasi, 16 February, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/720811_gangadevi|You may assist your husband very nicely by concentrating all your time and efforts in raising your child in full Krsna consciousness. That will require all of your attention,]] —Gangadevi, 11 August, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/720915_gurudasa|if you do not assist him and be very obedient to his welfare, then he may become disgusted and go away. So there must be mutual responsibility by both parties,]] —Sudevi dasi, 15 September, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/721023_narottamananda|by serving your husband you will also get Krsna, through him. He is your spiritual master, but he must be responsible for giving you all spiritual help, teaching you as he advances his own knowledge and realization.]] —Saucarya devi, 23 October, 1972 --- ![[letters/1973/730728_naiskarmi]] —Naiskarmi devi dasi, 28 July, 1973 --- ![[letters/1974/740819_sridhara|All of you are coming from backgrounds of bad habits, so to make progress in Krsna consciousness we must overlook the faults of others. You must be patient with your husband. Chanting offenselessly is the remedy for all of these diseases.]] —Vidarbha Kanya dasi, 19 August, 1974 --- ![[letters/1975/750206_brahmananda|Concerning the woman's duty, if she gets married, that does not necessarily mean that she must give up any of her service in the temple or on sankirtana, but she must also see to it that her household duties are not neglected." ([[letters/1975/750...]] —Sri == ==Govinda dasa, 6 February, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750619_taitreya]] —Taitreya, 19 June, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750623_laksmimoni|Generally it is not good for the women with babies to worship the Deity, because a baby means uncleanliness. You have to touch the baby and there is so much dirtiness, so how can you remain sanctified? But if you are doing it nicely, then it is ok...]] —Laksmimoni, 23 June, 1975 --- ![[letters/1976/761220_rupanuga]] —Tamala Kṛṣṇa Maharaja, 20 December, 1976 --- ## Duties of the Husband and Wife ![[letters/1967/670609_nandarani]] —Nandarani, 9 June, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/670804_brahmananda]] —Brahmananda, 4 August, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/670815_hansadutta|A child is a rare gift given by Krsna, but at the same time a great responsibility; every parent has the responsibility to see that his child grows up Krsna conscious.]] —Hamsaduta, 15 August, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/670909_rupanuga|I think his father has got a special duty to protect this child in his Krsna consciousness. The mother also has a similar responsibility, so either your wife or yourself must take care of the good child.]] —Rupanuga, 9 September, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/671216_subalaab]] —Kṛṣṇa devi, 16 December, 1967 --- ![[letters/1968/680703_rupanuga|This is the duty of father and mother, to enlighten children in Krsna consciousness and thus save them from the clutches of impending death.]] —Rupanuga, June, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/680628_brahmananda]] —Brahmananda, 28 June, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/680824_nandarani|It is the duty of the parents to see that the children are growing luxuriantly not only materially, but spiritually also. So spiritual training should be given from the very beginning.]] —Dayananda and Nandarani, 24 August, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/680904_anapurna_ananda|The conclusion is that in my opinion both of you should legally be married and Ananda may work to maintain the center in Vancouver. That is my desire.]] —Annapurna and Ananda, 4 September, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/680904_anapurna_ananda|best thing will be that you get yourself married legally, according to the state laws and get a certificate]] —Annapurna and Ananda, 4 September, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681017_rayarama|the innocent animals should be accepted as children of the household.]] —Rayarama, 17 October, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681123_malati|In my household life I was strictly following the regulative principles but my wife was reluctant to assist me properly.]] —Malati, 23 November, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681202_gaurasundara|I am pleased with the progress that you, Mahapurusa and Murari are making in establishing our Hawaii temple and also I have noted that you are making arrangements for accomodating me in January. You are making arrangements for me but also I think ...]] —Gaurasundara, 2 December, 1968 --- ![[letters/1969/690112_kirtanananda]] —Hamsaduta, 12 January, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690116_gaurasundara|It is very nice that Govinda dasi is cooking for you and following my instructions. The husbands duty is to give the wife all protection, even from the material maya, and the wife's duty is to see to the personal comforts of the husband.]] —Gaurasundara, 16 January, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690126_gaurasundara|In London, the six couples who are working very hard there have been very much appreciated by the people of London, and their character, behavior and devotion are attracting sincere people to our movement. I want similar thousands of couples for m...]] —Govinda dasi, 26 January, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690217_mukunda|I never discourage marriage, providing it is for Krsna's service and not simply for sex life. It is always meant for a higher purpose.]] —Uddhava, 17 February, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690318_hayagriva|So far the living arrangement is concerned, the grhasthas should be given a chance to live together as husband and wife. If not, then all the girls can stay in a place and all the boys can stay in a place, if there is not sufficient space. So far ...]] —Hayagriva, 18 March, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690523_nandarani|nobody should become a father or mother if he or she is not capable to raise children to the perfectional stage of stopping repeated births and death.]] —Nandarani, 23 May, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690526_jadurani|So far as your missing Satsvarupa, it is natural to be attached to husband. But Satsvarupa is engaged in Krsna's service, and you are also engaged in Krsna's service. So both of you should feel happiness in Krsna's service always. When you get wel...]] —Jadurani, 26 May, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690710_laksmimoni|the basic principle is that the wife will help the husband so that he may pursue Krsna consciousness, and similarly the husband will help the wife to advance in Krsna consciousness.]] —Laksmimoni, 10 July, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690728_vrndavanesvari|I have noticed that he has all the instincts of devotional life, and it is up to the guardians to take care of him.]] —Vrndavanesvari, 28 July, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690816_pradyumna|Yes, as suggested by you the householders should take charge of the maintenance of the temple. Jaya Gopala is a very enthusiastic boy. He should be given all sorts of encouragement. Then he alone can manage the whole thing.]] —Pradyumna, 16 August, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/691113_dayananda|So both you and your wife are doing nice service to Krsna, and He has sent you a nice daughter. Be happy with your good family.]] —Dayananda, 13 November, 1969 --- ![[letters/1970/700214_sacisuta|I am also very pleased to know that you are living happily with your good wife and you are expecting a child in July. So now you must take special care to raise the new child in such a nice way that he will become a pure devotee in Krsna conscious...]] —Sacisuta, 14 February, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700306_malati|I am very happy to know that your daughter Sarasvati is growing up nicely under your care. To see that the child is raised in full Krsna consciousness is the proper management of householder life. And when your good daughter is no longer to be so ...]] —Malati, 6 March, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700319_patita_uddharana|I am very happy to learn that you are living and working together happily as grhasthas. Now use this opportunity of household life, not for sense gratification, but for mutually working to perfect your Krsna consciousness.]] —Nara Narayana and Dina-dayadri, 19 March, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700402_vamanadeva|Both you and your wife are setting good examples how Krsna conscious grhasthas or householders should live for Krsna.]] —Vamanadeva, 2 April, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700614_acyutananda]] —Acyutananda, 14 June, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700624_vrndavanacandra|in Krsna consciousness the wife is never a burden, but she is completely a counterpart. So set example to your countrymen how the younger generation can live peacefully, husband and wife, being engaged in Krsnas service.]] —Vrndavana Candra, 24 June, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700629_madhusudana|I wish that all of you, especially those that are married couples, may combinedly advance in Krsna consciousness being constantly engaged in His loving service and that will make me very happy.]] —Madhusudana, 29 June, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700712_candanacarya|Now both you and your wife simply carry out our instructions for keeping always engaged in Krsna activities according to strict following of the rules and regulations and chant Hare Krsna and be happy.]] —Candanacarya, 12 July, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700715_upendra|I have met your wife in San Francisco. She looks very bright after marriage. Actually she is the choicest girl for you, as you desired. Be happy with your wife and enhance your knowledge in Krsna consciousness. I am sure she will be a great help i...]] —Gopala Kṛṣṇa, 15 July, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700801_nayanabhirama|please work combinedly in Krsnas service with your new wife when you are married and make your lives perfect in Krsna consciousness. That is my desire.]] —Nayanabhirama, 1 August, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/701218_krsna_dasa|I am glad to hear Mandali Bhadra and Haripriya are working so hard to translate my books. They are both sincere souls and combinedly I am confident that they will do their duty. Husband and wife engaged in the service of the Lord is real marriage,...]] —Krsnadasa, 18 December, 1970 --- ![[letters/1971/710304_babrubahan|one should not take on the responsibility of parenthood unless he can deliver the child from the repeated cycle of birth, death, disease and old age.]] —Babrubahan, 4 March, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710615_svarupa|if both the husband and wife remember Krsna, then their householder life becomes Vaikuntha.]] —Svarupa, 15 June, 1971 --- ![[letters/1972/720607_secretary_to_minister_of_education_and_culture|a householder or substantial citizen of the state has to see not only after the well-being of his wife, children, relatives and dependents, that they shall be properly taken care of and will not starve, but also even if a lizard lives in his house...]] —Secretary to Minister of Education and Culture, 7 June, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/720714_karandhara|The strict temple procedure is only for those who live in the temple. Grhasthas should live outside, and they cannot follow everything, but why they should give up altogether their devotional procedures?]] —Karandhara, 14 July, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/721107_tamala_krsna_giriraja_manusvi]] —Mr. Loy, 7 November, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/721111_cyavana|if they live together, they must live outside.]] —Cyavana, 11 November, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/721217_danavir]] —Danavir, 17 December, 1972 --- ![[letters/1973/730129_ksirodakasayi|grhastha means that he lives outside the temple with wife, that is the only difference. Otherwise grhastha must follow the same regulative principles and remain fully engaged in the temple activities.]] —Ksirodakasayi, 29 January, 1973 --- ![[letters/1974/740907_batu_gopala|I am glad to see that you are living an ideal grhastha life. That is very good. The more you will become Krsna conscious the more you will forget sex life. Sex life is the original root cause of material bondage. When one takes to Krsna consciousn...]] —Batu Gopala, 7 September, 1974 --- ![[letters/1974/740915_resolution|So work together husband and wife diligently and pray to Krsna to help you. He is sitting in your heart and will surely give you good intelligence, as soon as He finds that you are engaged in His service with faith and love. Our Krsna is not a dea...]] —Taittiriya dasi, 15 September, 1974 --- ![[letters/1974/741228_jagadisa|Now you are raising your third child. So more and more you are becoming responsible for these living entities who are your dependents. You must see that they do not take birth again in this material world. That is your duty.]] —Jagadisa, 28 December, 1974 --- ![[letters/1975/750104_madhukara]] —Madhukara, 4 January, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750203_radhey_syam_kripalu|Anyone who is unwilling to follow our regulated principles, you should not live or associate closely with such a person.]] —Kusa devi dasi, 3 February, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750627_hrdayananda|So now that you are married you work together to spread Krsna consciousness. Marriage means that one's service becomes doubled, but at the same time we have to be careful not to fall into sense gratification. That tendency is there, and we have to...]] —Jnana dasa and Lilavati dasi, 27 June, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750714_giriraja|Woman is good and man is good, but if you combine them, then both become bad, unless there is regulation.]] —Gopala Kṛṣṇa dasa, 14 July, 1975 --- ![[letters/1976/760118_dvarakesa|even if there is a snake or lizard in the house, it is the duty of the householder to see that they are also eating, not starving.]] —Dvarakesa, 18 January, 1976 --- ![[letters/1976/760402_v.g.k._dipple.g.k._dipple.g.k._dipple|The proposed farm project in northern California is approved by me. Such projects as well as constructing temples, protecting cows, gathering milk, then making ghee, then opening Hare Krsna Restaurants are all good programs for grhasthas.]] —Citsukhananda dasa, 2 April, 1976 --- ## Conception ![[letters/1967/670228_rayarama]] —Rayarama, 28 February, 1967 --- ![[letters/1968/680824_dayananda_nandarani|Regarding your question: 'What is the correct sexual etiquette for a strict grhastha; and what is spiritual family planning?' Unless one wants to beget a child, there should not be any sex life. The best thing is to forget sex, but it is not possi...]] —Dayananda and Nandarani, 24 August, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/680920_satsvarupa]] —Satsvarupa, 20 September, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681229_satsvarupa|I think that because Jadurani is not quite healthy at the present, there is no need of overburdening with pregnancy. In her weakness, the child will be a burden for you and her. Also a child born in weak health is always unhealthy. So it is better...]] —Satsvarupa, 29 December, 1968 --- ![[letters/1969/690118_satsvarupa]] —Syama dasi, 18 January, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690220_hayagriva|Sex life for begetting Krsna conscious children is as good as Krsna consciousness. This is confirmed in the Bhagavad-gita]] —Hayagriva, 20 February, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690323_himavati|To become agitated is not very unusual thing, but to control it, that is the real thing.]] —Himavati, 23 March, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690715_jadurani|Regarding your questions about sex life, the basic principle is that in executing Krsna consciousness sex life should be avoided as far as possible, and it may be utilized only for begetting Krsna consciousness children. This is the basic principl...]] —Bibhavati, 15 July, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/691031_satsvarupa|[PAGE MISSING] "...strong and if he has sex with a woman she is sure to become pregnant. When pregnancy fails it is due to the weakness of the male partner generally. Similarly, if we are full with Krsna vitality then wherever we go the audience w...]] —Satsvarupa, 31 October, 1969 --- ![[letters/1971/711014_vasudeva|Regarding children, when you are married you will have children undoubtedly, but you should wait for the opportune moment when Krsna will bestow upon you all good fortune. Our line of action is enthusiasm and patience.]] —Vrnda devi, 14 October, 1971 --- ![[letters/1974/740609_muralidhara|I am sorry to hear of your wife's poor health. You have tried so many treatments, pills and better climates and visits to doctors, but there is no improvement. I think you can admit her to the hospital on a longer term basis for recouping her heal...]] —Muralidhara, 9 June, 1974 --- ![[letters/1975/751110_bahudak|I note that your wife has given birth to one girl child. Are all your other children also dasi's or do you have any dasa's? We want more dasa's than dasi's.]] —Bahudaka dasa, 10 November, 1975 --- ![[letters/1976/760201_alain|no illicit sex life, which means sex life only within marriage and then only for the purpose of procreating Krsna conscious children. If you can follow these principles and chant Hare Krsna, you will make great spiritual advancement.]] —Alain, 1 February, 1976 --- ## Pregnancy ![[letters/1967/670609_nandarani|Please take care of your health so that the child may grow very healthy and become Krsna conscious.]] —Nandarani, 9 June, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/670829_satsvarupa_hansadutta|The best preparation for the coming of the child is just for the parents to remain perfectly Krsna conscious, and of course the best means for that is by chanting the holy names and listening to Bhagavad-gita and Srimad-Bhagavatam.]] —Hamsaduta, 29 August, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/670923_himavati|during your time of pregnancy you should eat very simple foods, hot or spicy foods are not to be taken and also sexual relations are forbidden.]] —Himavati, September, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/671102_himavati|I may advise you that in your pregnant condition you may not take any pungent foodstuffs. Your husband knows how to prepare nice capatis and you can take them nicely buttered.]] —Himavati, 2 November, 1967 --- ![[letters/1968/680228_mukunda_janaki|you can know it that when you are chanting, you are also giving benefit to even the child in the womb.]] —Mukunda and Janaki, 28 February, 1968 --- ![[letters/1969/690324_satyabhama|a pregnant woman should not eat any pungent foodstuffs; she should not move in cars and she should not sit idly. She should move and do some physical work. These are the general rules]] —Satyabhama, 24 March, 1969 --- ![[letters/1970/700401_arundhati|If you have got extra time I encourage you to learn Sanskrit along with your husband. So far your movement is concerned in pregnancy, you should strictly not ride on cars or any conveyance until your delivery, neither should you dance also.]] —Arundhati, 1 April, 1970 --- ## Child Birth ![[letters/1968/680528_malati|Yes, so far your coming child is concerned, I shall give a name to it when it is born. No, circumcision is not done in Vedic culture, it is not required.]] —Malati, 28 May, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/680617_sacisuta|Just now I received one telephone message from San Francisco that a baby girl is born of Malati and Syamasundara. And they asked me for registration of the baby's name, and she is named by me as Sarasvati devi. Please pray for the newly born baby ...]] —Sacisuta, 17 June, 1968 --- ![[letters/1969/690324_brahmananda|I understand that you are proposing for delivering children. That is not a sannyasi's business. You should not bother about it. A]] —Kīrtanānanda, 24 March, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690430_isanadas]] —Isana dasa, 30 April, 1969 --- ![[letters/1970/700622_vamanadeva|I understand that your first child will be born in one month. The child may be named 'Jagannatha' and you may make it dasa or dasi accordingly.]] —Vamanadeva, 22 June, 1970 --- ![[letters/1971/710809_david_r_schomaker]] —David R. Schomaker, 9 August, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/711127_abhirama]] —Lalita Kumara and Jambavati dasi, 27 November, 1971 --- ![[letters/1975/750507_lalita_priya|The names for the new child are approved by me. Circumcision is not important.]] —Bhakta dasa, 7 May, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750930_arvind_shah|in the Vedic system such circumcision is prohibited.]] —Arvinda Shah, 30 September, 1975 --- ## Child Raising (see Education-Nursery) ## Grhastha Maintenance and Contributions ![[letters/1967/670412_janardana|The Society will be obliged to you by your intellectual service more than by money; because you are a family man and you require money. I hope this will satisfy you.]] —Janardana, 12 April, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/670815_hansadutta|if you like you can take a job in New York or elsewhere and settle as an ordinary householder, like Rupanuga and others;]] —Hamsaduta, 15 August, 1967 --- ![[letters/1968/680111_gargamuni|we must have sufficient time for executing Krsna consciousness business, so you have to select which one will be suitable for you. If you think that by carving Jagannathas or painting you will have sufficient income it is very nice.]] —Hamsaduta, 11 January, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/680121_advaita|A Krsna conscious member, even though he is a householder, may spend at least fifty percent of his income for the Society.]] —Advaita, 21 January, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/680506_mukunda]] —Mukunda, 6 May, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/680528_hansadutta|As you are married, there is no need of separation as you are practicing artificially. You must live just like a respectable married couple and earn money as a grhastha, and spend fifty percent for Krsna—that is the real program.]] —Hamsaduta, 28 May, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681119_rayarama]] —Rayarama, 19 November, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681219_brahmananda|Regarding my apartment, if it is possible to keep it with no strain on your financial condition it is all right. Otherwise, I am not very serious about retaining the apartment. Everything should be performed with no strain because too much financi...]] —Brahmananda, 19 December, 1968 --- ![[letters/1969/690210_govinda|I am so glad to learn that you are working as a full time secretary in a good business firm. Please try to continue this work as far as possible.]] —Govinda dasi, 10 February, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690217_brahmananda|The method of contributing should be those who are not married should contribute all their income to the temple. Those who are married should contribute 50%.]] —Brahmananda, 17 February, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690705_giriraja|So far as householders are concerned, they may contribute at least half of their income to Krsna. Then life is sublime.]] —Giriraja, 5 July, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690705_sacisuta|those who are married should work, earning money as much as possible, and at least fifty percent should be spent for the Krsna consciousness movement.]] —Sacisuta, 5 July, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690712_vamanadeva|if you marry, you will have to work to provide for your family, and try to spend at least fifty percent for Krsna.]] —Vamanadeva, 12 July, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/691021_bharadraja|You are intelligent and have got qualifications, but you must learn to be more responsible. I was not very happy when I saw your wife last. She is so nice girl. You are married; you must be responsible for the maintenance of your wife. As you are ...]] —Baradraja, 21 October, 1969 --- ![[letters/1970/700203_jayagovinda|you are working just to help and push Krsna's interest, therefore, it is not maya.]] —Jaya Govinda, 3 February, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700210_ekayani|I always advise married couples that the male should be engaged in some work; but if somebody is busily engaged in our activities and therefore cannot work outside, that is also nice.]] —Ekayani, 10 February, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700319_hayagriva|I recommend to every householder, if you spend fifty percent of your income for Krsna's business in developing New Vrndavana, and a similar amount is collected by Kirtanananda Maharaja, I think there will be no need of financial help from other ce...]] —Hayagriva, 19 March, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700418_jayagovinda|Regarding jobs for householders there is no confusion. If your whole time is needed for sankirtana party there is no need of working in a karmi firm.]] —Jaya Govinda, 18 April, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700629_ksirodakasayi|We require personalities like you to join this movement whole-heartedly, but because you have got wife and children I am hesitating to ask you to close your business.]] —Ksirodakasayi, 29 June, 1970 --- ![[letters/1971/710116_jagadisa]] —Jagadisa, 16 January, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710304_babrubahun|If you marry you will have to work to provide for your wife and family and try to spend at least fifty percent for Krsna consciousness.]] —Babrubahun, 4 March, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710707_bhagavan|The book distribution policy should be like this: Cash only. All books are to be sold cash on delivery (COD). Books can be returned for exchange of other books only for a period of up to one year. Householders can sell books and get fifteen percen...]] —Bhagavan dasa, 7 July, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710713_sri_govinda|Also it is much more important that you utilize your valuable time and energy to distribute our magazines and books. That is real propaganda work. And the householders can earn their livelihood by distributing our books also. That is one of the po...]] —Sri Govinda, 13 July, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/711208_vamanadeva_indira_dasi]] —Vamanadeva and Indira dasi, 8 December, 1971 --- ![[letters/1972/721229_vaikunthanatha|together utilize your spot-life as preachers of Krsna consciousness, that will be the better occupation. There is no harm for having children, that is no impediment for preaching endeavor. But too much attachment for children, home and work will s...]] —Vaikunthanatha, 29 December, 1972 --- ![[letters/1973/730717_isvara]] —Isvara, 17 July, 1973 --- ![[letters/1973/731115_sankara_pyne]] —Sankara Pyne, 15 November, 1973 --- ![[letters/1973/731211_makhanlal]] —Makhanlal, 11 December, 1973 --- ![[letters/1974/740905_vijoyadhvaja|Best idea is for Subala to go to Fiji and preach. That is the business of sannyasi, not opening restaurant. Restaurant is for grhastha. Preaching is first.]] —Sudama and Subala dasa Goswamis, 5 September, 1974 --- ![[letters/1975/750314_mr._dennany._dennany._dennany]] —Tirihanga dasa, 14 March, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750623_svarupa_damodara|Now I have given the guideline that fifty percent of a householder's income should be donated to the temple. If there is any disagreement it may be taken up with Jayatirtha.]] —SPL Mahajana dasa, 23 June, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750729_hansadutta|Regarding investing in a new restaurant, it doesn't matter it may be $100,000. If there is profit there, then you can invest. I want that all of our householders be engaged in managing these restaurants.]] —Gurukrpa Swami, 29 July, 1975 --- ![[letters/1976/760122_jayatirtha]] —Jayatirtha, 22 January, 1976 --- ![[letters/1976/760402_v.g.k._dipple.g.k._dipple.g.k._dipple|The proposed farm project in northern California is approved by me. Such projects as well as constructing temples, protecting cows, gathering milk, then making ghee, then opening Hare Krsna Restaurants are all good programs for grhasthas.]] —Citsukhananda dasa, 2 April, 1976 --- ![[letters/1976/760908_david_b._richeter_hughes._richeter_hughes._richeter_hughes|The householders who cannot sell books should be encouraged to work honestly on this restaurant project.]] —Ramesvara dasa, 8 September, 1976 --- ![[letters/1977/770201_harikesa|The tendency you report of the householders living at the expense of others in our Society, is not good. One way to earn money is by selling books, they can be given a salary or commission. But if you say that they do not want to do that, yes, the...]] —Harikesa Swami, 1 February, 1977 --- ![[letters/1977/770412_nityananda|Yes, if our householders cannot distribute books, then let them live in the farm communities. They can produce thread for cloth, spinning, and other such activities. But they must do something, not sit idly, for an idle brain is the devil's workshop.]] —Nityananda dasa, 12 April, 1977 --- ## Grhastha and Sadhana ![[letters/1969/690318_himavati|Arcana-siddhi means simply by Deity worship one goes back to Godhead immediately after this life. So this arcana-siddhi program is given in the Narada-pan-caratra especially for the householders.]] —Himavati, 18 March, 1969 --- ![[letters/1970/700418_jayagovinda|Yes, when you are out of your station you can carry these Deities, but so long you are in Hamburg you will have very little time to arrange separately for worship. When a householder is not in touch with the temple, then he can have separate worsh...]] —Jaya Govinda, 18 April, 1970 --- ![[letters/1971/710708_sukhasagari_devi_dasi|Make Krsna the very center of your household life and work cooperatively to serve Him to the very best of your capacity. Then you will be happy and your lives will know perfection.]] —Sukhasagari devi dasi, 8 July, 1971 --- ![[letters/1972/720125_ravindra_svarupa|ideally the husband and wife can live separately in the temple and if this is not possible they should live together close to the temple and attend temple arati etc..]] —Ravindra Svarupa, 25 January, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/720714_karandhara]] —Karandhara, 14 July, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/720811_gangadevi|read Srimad-Bhagavatam at least one hour daily, and in this way without any doubt you will very soon become very happy, and your life will be sublime." ([[letters/1972/720811_gangadevi|SPL]] —SPL==* to Gangadevi, 11 August, 1972 --- ![[letters/1973/730129_ksirodakasayi|Simply grhastha means that he lives outside the temple with wife, that is the only difference. Otherwise, grhastha must follow the same regulative principles and remain fully engaged in the temple activities.]] —Ksirodakasayi, 29 January, 1973 --- ![[letters/1973/731115_sankara_pyne]] —Sankara Pyne, 15 November, 1973 --- ![[letters/1974/740505_jayatirthaa|Regarding the grhasthas houses, we have given these houses with the purpose that they should execute devotional service exactly like the brahmacaris and sannyasis. Otherwise, why purchase]] —Jayatirtha, 5 May, 1974 --- ![[letters/1974/740501_jayatirtha|As for the grhasthas worshiping Gaura Nitai Deities, that is only for those who live far away from the temple and cannot attend. Otherwise such worship is redundant. There is already Deity worship going on in the temple and they should attend the ...]] —Jayatirtha, 1 May, 1974 --- ![[letters/1974/740501_jayatirtha]] —Jayatirtha, 1 May, 1974 --- ![[letters/1974/740609_krsna_dasa|It is pleasing to me to hear you are happily engaged in devotional service and living as an ideal grhastha. Please go on as you are doing; keep your business separate and wherever you remain keep your family in Krsna consciousness always chanting ...]] —Kṛṣṇa dasa, 9 June, 1974 --- ## Grhastha and Preaching ![[letters/1967/670829_satsvarupa_hansadutta|not that we all have to become preachers but that we all dedicate our lives or our consciousness (no matter in what capacity) to Lord Krsna.]] —Hamsaduta, August, 1967 --- ![[letters/1969/690126_gaurasundara]] —Govinda dasi, 26 January, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690131_hayagriva|This very fact confirms the statement of Lord Caitanya that a preacher or teacher may be a householder, a sannyasi, a brahmana, a sudra or anyone, provided he knows the science of Krsna.]] —Hayagriva, 31 January, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690308_raj_dewan]] —Isana and Bibhavati, 8 March, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690310_madhusudana|I want that some ideal families of Krsna consciousness should be established in your country, so that people can see that our movement is not one sided or dry. So we do not want dry renouncers.]] —Madhusudana, 10 March, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690324_brahmananda|You are a very nice girl and just suitable for working together with Hayagriva on the Srimad-Bhagavatam. This very much encourages me. I want such grhastha couples in this movement to set examples for others to follow.]] —Syama dasi, 24 March, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690728_mukunda|So it is my request to you all that you establish an exemplary character and show how householders can be the first-class transcendentalists. When I feel that my householder disciples are preaching so nicely I actually feel very much proud.]] —Mukunda, 28 July, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/691109_bhagavan|In our society we want to see some ideal householders as you are, so that preaching may go on with great speed.]] —Bhagavan dasa, 9 November, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/691220_himavati|I am especially proud how my householder disciples are preaching Lord Caitanya's mission. This is a new thing in the history of the sankirtana movement.]] —Himavati, 20 December, 1969 --- ![[letters/1970/700109_candravali|I like this marriage ceremony because it has given practical proof of my ideas that boys and girls of this country better be married and engaged in preaching work.]] —Candravali, 9 January, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700121_madhava_maharaja|I have adopted the method of sending young married couples for such preaching work, and you will be pleased to know that this system in these countries has proved more effective.]] —Madhava Maharaja, 21 January, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/700719_damodara|Please, both of you husband and wife work now conjointly in full Krsna consciousness for spreading Lord Caitanya's message.]] —Damodara, 19 July, 1970 --- ![[letters/1970/701113_rupanuga|My Guru Maharaja generally used to make a sannyasi from householder, but I have created householders for preaching work and your example is proving my attempt successful.]] —Rupanuga, 13 November, 1970 --- ![[letters/1971/710224_minaketana|My Guru Maharaja made sannyasis to go out and preach this movement and I am making householder couples and they are doing so nicely to spread Lord Caitanya Mahdprabhu's message.]] —Minaketana, 24 February, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710709_umapati]] —Umapati, 9 July, 1971 --- ![[letters/1972/721229_vaikunthanatha|it would please me very much if you will dedicate yourself and your wife completely to the preaching work. That is important.]] —Vaikunthanatha, 29 December, 1972 --- ![[letters/1974/741122_nrhari|Lord Caitanya Mahdprabhu had many householder disciples who would preach Krsna consciousness.]] —Krsnakatha dasa, 22 November, 1974 --- ![[letters/1975/750104_madhukara|Of course, our occupational duty is as preachers of Krsna consciousness. So we must stick to that business under all circumstances, that is the main thing. Therefore married, unmarried, divorced, whatever condition of life, my preaching mission do...]] —Madhukara, 4 January, 1975 --- ## Vanaprastha and Sannyasa ![[letters/1967/671029_krsna_devi|One who has got a helpful wife at home does not require to accept sannyasa. If required, both you and your husband can preach Krsna consciousness combinedly.]] —Kṛṣṇa devi, October, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/671008_subalaa|Even if you accept vanaprastha there is no restriction for keeping one's wife in company. Only a sannyasi cannot have any connection with women.]] —Subala, 8 October, 1967 --- ![[letters/1969/691123_madhusudana|I am very glad that Kancanbala is performing the regulative principles and worshiping and helping you to become an ideal Vaisnava householder. Regarding sannyasa, yes, according to Vedic principles, as a married man, you must give your wife at lea...]] —Madhusudana, 23 November, 1969 --- ![[letters/1971/710815_indira|So if you are afraid of your husband's taking sannyasa, I shall not give him sannyasa order at any time. Be rest assured.]] —Indira, 15 August, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710902_sivananda|Vanaprastha asrama can be taken even in the presence of the wife. Not that because your wife has left you have to take vanaprastha. That depends on your choice. In one sense if your wife has]] —Sivananda, 2 September, 1971 --- ![[letters/1972/720716_mahatma|If you have taken a wife for grhastha life, why are you neglecting? That is not Vaisnava. Vaisnava means he is very much responsible, and if he is householder, then he must be responsible. I cannot give sannyasa to any devotee who has not proven h...]] —Mahatma, 16 July, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/721213_candravali|Regarding your husband taking sannyasa, you should not worry as we shall see to the matter later, not now, and I promise you he will certainly fulfill his family obligations in Krsna consciousness.]] —Candravali, 13 December, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/721217_danavir|If wife is very strong, she will appreciate if you take sannyasa, but if there is question at all, that should be avoided.]] —Danavir, 17 December, 1972 --- ![[letters/1973/730128_palika_devi|You may be pleased to know that your husband has now taken sannyasa order of life for preaching the message of Lord Caitanya.]] —Palika devi, 28 January, 1973 --- ![[letters/1974/740501_jayatirtha|Taking of sannyasa order is in one sense only a formality. I was preaching and writing for eight or nine years as vanaprastha and then in 1959 I took sannyasa. So if after a few years as vanaprastha your behavior is ideal sannyasa can be considered.]] —Mahatma dasa, 1 May, 1974 --- ![[letters/1974/741223_kisora]] —Sri Srinivasan, 23 December, 1974 --- ![[letters/1975/750104_madhukara|But even in those cases there is no question of separation, the husband, even he is sannyasa, he must be certain his wife will be taken care of nicely and protected in his absence. Now so many cases are there of un-happiness by the wife who has be...]] —Madhukara, 4 January, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750726_dinanatha_n._mishra._mishra._mishra_n._mishra|a brahmana is supposed to accept the four daramas, namely brahmacari, grhastha, vanaprastha, and sannyasa. Others do not accept sannyasa, but a person who is a brahmana must accept sannyasa at the end of his life.]] —Dinanatha, 26 July, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750729_hansadutta|Caitanya Mahaprabhu never said everyone had to take sannyasa. We should just be after becoming the pure servant of Krsna]] —Hamsaduta dasa, 29 July, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750807_candradevi._y.g._naik]] —Dr. Naik, 7 August, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750901_jayananda|What you have done is good. Why should you re-marry? Rather you should take sannyasa. Now you are getting very good training. Why has Jayatirtha suggested you re-marry?]] —Jayananda dasa, 1 September, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750903_nalinikanta|You have married for a year and a half but do not have any desire for children. Then why did you marry? That is my question. If you do not want children, then why did you marry? You should not take sannyasa.]] —Nalinikanta dasa, 3 September, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/751121_dr._w.h._wolf-rottkay._w.h._wolf-rottkay._w.h._wolf-rottkay|Regarding taking sannyasa, this mentality that either I will have sex life or I will take sannyasa, this is not proper. Sannyasa means that one is finished with material life. So you have gotten married and you are in family life. So you should re...]] —Nalinikanta dasa, 21 November, 1975 --- ![[letters/1976/761001_dr._dave._dave._dave|It is the Vedic system that after fifty years of life one has to take to vanaprastha, then take to sannyasa.]] —Dr. Dave, 1 October, 1976 --- ## Disagreement, Separation and Divorce ![[letters/1967/670929_krsna_devi|I do not approve anyone's separation who are married]] —Kṛṣṇa devi, September, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/670909_rupanuga|in my opinion this business of separation may not be developed into a case of divorce.]] —Rupanuga, 9 September, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/671008_nandarani|Even if there is some misunderstanding between husband and wife that should be completely neglected and you should always remain rigid in the service of Krsna,]] —Nandarani, 8 October, 1967 --- ![[letters/1968/680614_himavati|Artificial separation is never recommended. And when you see, living together, you have no desire for sense gratification, then that is the highest stage of perfection.]] —Himavati, 14 June, 1968 --- ![[letters/1969/690124_himavati|There is no question of separation between husband and wife until the time when the husband takes sannyasa. At that time the wife cannot remain with the husband.]] —Himavati, 24 January, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/690710_laksmimoni|there is no question of any separation or divorce. Any disagreement between husband and wife is not taken very seriously, as much as a disagreement between children is not taken seriously.]] —Laksmimoni, 10 July, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/691115_balai|in our Krsna consciousness household life there is no question of separation. Our marriage is absolute. But if sometimes some disagreement is there, they may live separately for a few days, but that does not mean they can think of separation.]] —Balai, 15 November, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/691207_aniruddha]] —Aniruddha, 7 December, 1969 --- ![[letters/1969/691115_balai|there is no question of]] —Balai, 15 November, 1969 --- ![[letters/1970/701116_jadurani|I think that if you feel too much inconvenience just now by remaining in Boston with Satsvarupa, then you may go to some other center for sometime with the art department and carry on your work there. Sometimes such separation for a time is benefi...]] —Jadurani, 16 November, 1970 --- ![[letters/1971/710101_sudama|The Vedic system therefore gives a concession for the wife to separate from her husband for some time and go to her father's house.]] —Sudama, 1 January, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710808_madhukantha|I am asking all those who want to be married that they sign one paper promising that there will be no separation.]] —SPL Madhukantha, 8 August, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710831_ekayani|fighting between husband and wife is not to be taken very seriously. So if you have any respect for me, I request you not to quarrel with your husband. Live peacefully,]] —Ekayani, 31 August, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/710925_madhucara|Separation is absolutely forbidden at any time. Always think of Krsna and be happy.]] —Madhucara, 25 September, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/711012_citsukhananda]] —Citsukhananda, 12 October, 1971 --- ![[letters/1972/721217_name_withheld]] —(name withheld), 17 December, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/720215_amogha|But one thing is that you shall have to be from now on fully responsible for protecting her and giving her Krsna consciousness, and there shall never be any separation, that is our condition. So if you are willing to follow this condition, I have ...]] —Amogha, 15 February, 1972 --- ![[letters/1972/720227_mohanananda]] —Mohanananda, 27 February, 1972 --- ![[letters/1973/730427_girirajaa|According to Canakya Pandita one who has no mother and the wife is not obedient, such a home is as good as living in the desert.]] —Mukunda dasa, 27 April, 1973 --- ![[letters/1973/731016_madhudvisa|Regarding your separating from Nandarani, nothing should be done artificially. Nandarani is not different from you. She also seeks Krsna consciousness. Your household life is not repugnant; it is favorable. Do not separate artificially. When every...]] —Dayananda dasa, 16 October, 1973 --- ![[letters/1973/731213_beharilal|Your husband has gone away so what can be done. But you should return to our temple and again take up devotional service as I have designed and directed at our centers.]] —Govinda dasi, 13 December, 1973 --- ![[letters/1974/740306_cyavana|you want to know from me whether you should leave her. It is not necessary to leave your wife.]] —Brian Fleming, 6 March, 1974 --- ![[letters/1975/750104_madhukara|But our marriage system is little different than in your country, we do not sanction the policy of divorce.]] —Madhukara, 4 January, 1975 --- ## Re-marriage ![[letters/1967/670909_jadurani|If your wife keeps herself peaceful living separately from you, I think you can arrange for the time being like that, but in my opinion, this business of separation may not be developed into a case of divorce.. Anyway, both your wife and yourself ...]] —SPL Rupanuga, 9 September, 1967 --- ![[letters/1967/670929_krsna_devi|I do not approve anyone's separation who are married by me. If they disagree they may live separately, but there cannot be divorce. When one is separate, one may fully devote to Krsna, but no more marriage.]] —Kṛṣṇa devi, September, 1967 --- ![[letters/1968/680123_brahmananda|Krsna devi is in the strong clutches of maya and she wants to have a new husband under any price. I have never allowed her in that way. But if she served Krsna's cause, I will not disallow her, because that is our main business.]] —Brahmananda, 23 January, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681016_brahmananda|. So you think over, but if he likes, he can marry again.]] —Brahmananda, 16 October, 1968 --- ![[letters/1968/681211_nandakisora|both of them also have little babies and Tulasi devi is, I think, a little older than you are. So if you like we may ask these girls if they are just now desirous of marrying.]] —Nandakisora, 11 December, 1968 --- ![[letters/1969/690614_silavati]] —Silavati, 14 June, 1969 --- ![[letters/1971/710411_krsnakanti|Jambavati should try to avoid any more marriage. Once she has been forlorn by her husband and who knows that a second husband might do the same? Let her forget her marriage and be fixed up in the service of the Lord. Simply she should concentrate ...]] —Krsnakanti, 11 April, 1971 --- ![[letters/1971/711117_sridhama_dasa|However in this case, if you think the match is favorable for their advancing nicely in Krsna consciousness, then I shall agree with your judgement.]] —Sridhama dasa, 17 November, 1971 --- ![[letters/1972/720719_navina|If you have a child and you are not married, still, having child is the same as being married, so there is no more marriage. Marriage is not for sense gratification,]] —Novina, 19 July, 1972 --- ![[letters/1974/741107_sriji]] —Rupanuga dasa, 7 November, 1974 --- ![[letters/1975/750821_rupanuga|Regarding re-marriage, no, re-marriage should be always discouraged. Re-marriage means encouraging sense gratification. Our mission is to curtail sense gratification. Three times marrying in a year, this is not good, and they are doing this.]] —Rupanuga dasa, 21 August, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750901_jayananda|What you have done is good. Why should you re-marry? Rather you should take sannyasa. Now you are getting very good training. Why has Jayatirtha suggested you re-marry?]] —Jayananda dasa, 1 September, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750902_omkara|I never said there should be no more marriage. By all means legally you can get married. How can I object?]] —Omkara dasi, 2 September, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750907_balavanta|Nor can women with child, strictly she cannot marry again.]] —Bhagavan dasa, 7 September, 1975 --- ![[letters/1976/760719_anangamanjari]] —Ananga-manjari, 19 July, 1976 --- ![[letters/1976/760906_manager_central_bank_of_india]] —Vidyabadhu devi dasi, 6 September, 1976 --- ![[letters/1976/761220_rupanuga]] —Tamala Kṛṣṇa Maharaja, 20 December, 1976 --- ## Polygamy ![[letters/1968/681016_brahmananda|I think also that Gargamuni should be supplied with another bride. Because karmis without association of women cannot work. So as he is going to be a karmi, not exactly karmi, karma-yogi, so if he likes, he can marry again. But he cannot be a very...]] —Brahmananda, 16 October, 1968 --- ![[letters/1973/731206_locanananda|The thing is how you will maintain two wives? You cannot give up one and take another. We cannot be responsible. You will have to manage everything and if there is any legal implication then we cannot be responsible. The temple cannot pay for you ...]] —Locanananda, 6 December, 1973 --- ![[letters/1973/730109_karandhara|Therefore it will be the best idea if those who are well qualified as husbands to keep more than one wife very much satisfied in every respect, if such men can marry more than once. That will free the others to remain brahmacari. But you must cons...]] —Karandhara, 9 January, 1973 --- ![[letters/1973/730210_karandhara]] —Karandhara, 10 February, 1973 --- ![[letters/1973/730214_rupanuga|After conferring with my various GBC representatives I have concluded that polygamy must be strictly prohibited in our society.]] —Rupanuga, 14 February, 1973 --- ![[letters/1973/730219_kirtika|polygamy cannot be permitted in our society. Legally it is impossible and neither are there many of our devotees who are prepared to assume the responsibility for many wives.]] —Satsvarupa, 19 February, 1973 --- ![[letters/1974/741124_bhakta_dasa|No, devotees are not allowed more than one wife. Devotees should have no wife if possible, but those who cannot maintain celibacy, they can marry one wife. At the present moment people are so unfortunate they cannot maintain even one wife. First o...]] —Sukadeva dasa, 24 November, 1974 --- ![[letters/1975/750713_narottamananda|Regarding your taking a second wife, you cannot do this. At least you cannot stay in our temple in Vrndavana. If you want to take a second wife, then you have to leave our Vrindavana temple. Whether you can maintain them and take some job and earn...]] —Narottamananda dasa, 13 July, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/750907_balavanta|Regarding the question of second marriage, it cannot be done. Neither the law will allow it and neither we can encourage it.]] —Bhagavan dasa, 7 September, 1975 --- ![[letters/1975/751109_jagadisa|Regarding the devotee taking a second wife, it is all right from Vedic culture, but is not right from American law viewpoint. That you have to adjust.]] —Satsvarupa Maharaja, 9 November, 1975 --- ![[letters/1976/761108_rupanuga|He can’t even maintain one wife. Just see how lusty he is. Now he'll dare to take another. Anyway he cannot live in the temple. If he wants two wives it must be done outside. He should maintain his family by working and give 50% to the temple.]] —Rupanuga, 8 November, 1976 --- --- **[← Back to Śikṣāmṛta](wiki/compile/siksamrita)**